To The Heart
by smut1956
Summary: Continues the events of "Kill Shot" where Esposito comes up against a force that's too much even for a decorated veteran and honored detective.    Castle & characters are the property of Andrew Marlowe and ABC Studios. No Copyright Infringement intended.
1. Chapter 1

**To The Heart**

Detective Javier Esposito had kept it together one breath at a time, one foot in front of the other and one sentence at a time. That was the only way to get through "an incident".

Somehow "incident" seemed more palatable than describing shooting a man to death even though he was a killer and had a gun drawn on one of Javier's best friends, Det. Kate Beckett. Everyone assured him it would be ruled "a good shoot", however, Javier still had to jump through the usual hoops.

He refused to talk to the media but he **had** answered questions from the brass, I.A. and from the prosecutor's office. He'd surrendered his rifle to the Crime Lab and let paramedics give him a once over. After that, Beckett approached him.

They weren't sloppy, neither of their styles. He tried to get by with just a nod. She had other ideas. Beckett wrapped her arm around his neck and whispered, "Thank you, Javie."

"It's what we do." He did a bump hug in return and broke away, "You'd do the same and you have."

"Still…"

"Leave it, Beckett."

She stepped back and they were silent on the return ride to the precinct.

Javier went from there to the morgue and made sure the ballistic evidence was retrieved and sent on for processing.

He was surprised not to see Lanie Parish. Instead, the chief medical examiner was there which could only work to Esposito's advantage. No possible conflict of interest from left over gossip about a failed relationship.

The final gauntlet was run outside the morgue. Ryan and Castle waited outside. Esposito eyed them as the pair tried to look ultracasual. "What, no Beckett?"

"She's with the captain." Ryan offered, "We were happy to avoid that tender scene."

Javier looked at Castle, "You don't even have coffee for me? I guess you do like Beckett best."

The writer shrugged and pushed himself off the wall. "She smells better than you. Besides, I didn't think you needed a caffeine jolt. I am, however, offering you the open bar option at The Olde Haunt with limo service home."

Ryan chimed in, "I'm driving for the moment because Castle's going back to wait for Beckett."

Esposito appreciated the support. But he was bone tired and ready to get out of the public spotlight and even away from the reassuring eyes of his friends. "Uh, rain-check, okay?"

"You sure?" Castle asked.

"He's sure. Let's go, Castle." Ryan indicated the door but turned back to fist bump with Javier. "You did good, bro. If you need to, call."

"Thanks and yes I know, Castle—ditto for you."

Finally, Esposito was coming down his hallway intent on getting inside. Then, he could lower the shield and become human again. There was one more obstacle left to face.

(TBC)


	2. Chapter 2

And what a face it was, Lanie Parish blocked his doorway. The medical examiner had on one of those neon colored sets of scrubs, this time flamingo pink. It was covered with a chocolate brown leather jacket.

Her long, smooth back which could arch with pleasure, passion or both was ramrod straight against the polished wood of the door. It complemented the shade of her jacket. Lanie's equally lovely legs were curved at her side.

She was working on a computer tablet, never one to be idle while there was still daylight. It was probably plugged into his Wi-Fi network. She had the password; she was privy to most of his secrets.

Javier was surprised to see her here. They'd determinedly avoided each other outside of work since that disastrous date with his partner Ryan and Ryan's fiancée, Jenny. When work brought them together, there was tension but also pride in doing the job well and getting everyone home safe at the end of the day.

By tacit agreement, neither of them wanted to see Lanie's workload increase—especially by a familiar face coming to a tragic end.

Lanie looked up at him approaching. She set the computer aside and just watched him. Typically, he'd have to make the first move. "This is an unexpected pleasure."

"You might try a little harder making it sound like a pleasure. Javier Esposito, your tone says the opposite."

"What'd you expect?" He hated the way he sounded but his fuse was on the short side and he didn't want to it explode on anyone in his life.

Large brown eyes stared up at him, "I expected you might like to see a friendly face." He reached down to hand her up. She gracefully unfolded that lithe body and looked at him dead on, "Well, Esposito?"

The detective shrugged, "I _**expected**_ to see you at the autopsy. When I didn't I figured you had better things to do."

She tsked, tsked. "You really don't know me at all. I couldn't do the autopsy, all I could think of was this guy could have murdered people I care about. He was almost the undoing of my best friend."

Javier realized he was still holding Lanie's hand. He dropped it to open the door. "Okay, Beckett's better and you can see I'm fine. So thanks for stopping by."

"Martha Stewart's got nothing on you. Just unlock the door and step aside."

"Lanie."

She snapped her fingers over shoulder at him as she sashayed into the apartment and commanded, "Save it."

He sighed and wondered if it was too late to join the French Foreign Legion.

(TBC)


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Javier Esposito's place was a compact, modern one bedroom. Not much bigger than an efficiency, however, it was ruthlessly organized and meticulously clean. It was all about personal pride for this ex-Special Ops officer.

Lanie originally thought the place would feel closed in and sterile from the building's exterior. But the colors were vibrant and warm with enough personal touches like pictures and sports memorabilia to liven it up and reveal the occupant's personality and passions.

For now, he wasn't intent on being welcoming. "You know, Lanie, it's been a long day and you must have better things to do."

"True as a rule, however, you might as well sit down after you get me a class of wine."

"What makes you think I have wine, let alone something you'd like?"

"Javier, it hasn't been that long. Some things become automatic. Your favorite beer remains a fixture in my refrigerator." She wouldn't admit she continued to automatically pick it up while shopping even though they'd been broken up long enough for that habit to have passed.

He stormed off silently fuming while getting her wine. He brought it back and offered her the glass. Lanie took it and set it on the table adjoining the loveseat. She patted the space next to her indicating he should join her. "You don't have to play the macho man with me. I'm well aware it's not play, it's who you are."

"Damn straight."

"But, it's not all you are and having to take a life, even to save Beckett, even to save our city—that's going to eat at you."

His breath shuddered out, "I had to get away, it's a righteous shoot but you never feel righteous."

"I know that, baby." She let her actions follow her tender tone enfolding him in her arms.

That broke him and he clutched her tight as a sob escaped from his throat. "His sister begged us to save him instead of killing him."

"You couldn't save him. Sadly, sometimes people are beyond saving."

"Lanie, he was a good guy once, a lot like me."

"Nothing like you. You've taken your lumps, fought back and survived. You move on and are stronger."

"In some things." He pulled back and looked into her eyes, "You're tough to move on from."

She echoed him from earlier, "Damn straight." She swiveled to pick up her wine, "Javier Esposito, you're pretty memorable yourself which is why I cancelled perfectly fine dinner plans."

"A date?"

"That is none of your concern."

"So that tells me it was a date." He looked her over, "He better treat you right."

"I can take care of myself and remember, you gave up that privilege."

"Then, why the Hell are you here, Lanie?"

"Because no matter what you're my friend, I'm part of your work unit and you're the finest man I've ever met." She let her hand brush down the side of his face, "And Javie, I couldn't stand the thought of you alone after the day you had."

"Thank you." He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "You've settled me down. I should be fine."

"Okay then, let's go." Lanie stood up to retrieve her jacket and her hobo bag. She held the jacket out to Javier and he automatically helped her into it letting his hands linger on her shoulders. He gently pulled her hair outside her collar. She shivered slightly at the tender, intimate gesture. Her voice quivered a little, "Now find your jacket."

"Where we going?" He headed for the closet.

"A little fresh air and then if you want company we hook up with our friends. If you don't want that big of a gathering we keep walking until you're tired enough for bed."

Esposito smiled. It was a small smile but Lanie would take what she could get. He asked her, "Is this Dr. Parish's cure?"

"It's a start." She walked toward the door and rummaged in the bag. She pulled out a lipstick and a business card. "Here, your first appointment with the counselor is tomorrow."

"Damn." He knew it was mandatory but he hated the exposure and being forced to talk about himself and his feelings. "I was hoping you were leading to me getting to mess up your lipstick."

"Keep dreaming, Det. Esposito." She smacked her newly coated lips and turned to him, "I picked the best of the department shrinks for you. I'm done."

"So when you said getting me tired enough for bed, you meant to sleep."

"You bet."

"Alone?"

"Javier…"

"Okay, you're right. Does that alone extend to my therapy sessions? Lanie, will you please be my back up?"

This was more involved in Javie's life than she wanted to be, however, she could see how much this meant to him and how much it was costing him to ask. She sighed, "Damn you and those puppy dog eyes of yours. Of course, I'll go with you."

They smiled at each other as they went out the door. Emotions shot right to the heart and kept the fire for each other burning. It was banked for now; however, the pull was strong enough that both of them were aware it would burst into passion again when the time was right.

That had to be enough for now.

###


End file.
